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I will not be hard

 

The past few weeks, I’ve been feeling an incredible sadness.  I cannot quite put my finger on why or what’s been causing it, but it’s totally sucked.

There are times in my life when I feel stuck.  Stuck where I am.  Stuck in a rut.  Stuck in a pile of low self-esteem.  It’s really, really rough.
I’ve gone through this process several times since my senior year of high school.  And I always seem to shake it until it randomly comes back up again.

This time, I’m going to try to shake it for good–not that being down is something wrong, because I don’t believe that feeling emotions is bad, ever–but why not be happy, ya know?  We have the choice.

I’m already feeling a bit of senioritis, even thought I’m a junior in college.  I can’t wait for summer.  I’m constantly day-dreaming about the travels I’ll experience this summer–so many new places with people I love.

I had a deep heart to heart with my mom earlier this morning that really helped out.  I am so blessed to have such a supportive and loving mom, dad, and step-dad.  They are so wonderful.

So, from now, as of 12:05 on March 27, 2012, I will (try my very hardest to) live with a smile and not be hard.  I will be soft.  I will be open.  I will be vulnerable, still, but only for the sake of letting people in.

My dad has always said (and I completely agree with him) that the relationships we have are the most important things in our lives.

I am done feeling stuck.  I am going to make the best out of the situations thrown my way.  I will make attainable goals.  I will be kind to myself.  I will love.  I will love.  I will love.

(Sorry if this post seemed to jump from one thing to another–I’m listening to some pretty great tunes on Spotify and I suppose I let the music take me away)

I met my new baby niece, Kate, this past weekend and took some newborn shots of her.  I’ll share soon.  I’ve also got some new features to get started on here.

Woo!

With love,
Rachel