THE DUDES
IRA F. WATERS
Ira F. Waters is an award-winning face-snorter, certified old man, and perfect angel. He was adopted in March of 2015 and has been faithfully and funnily at Rachel’s side, constantly asking for butt scratches or treats. When he’s not sleeping under the covers or taking his damn time to eat his food, he’s getting dusty while romping around in the back yard with Poppy, chasing reflections of the light on the walls like a doofus, or bravely hunting down flies and kindly killing them. He’s a very good boy. Soooooo goooooooood. His tail knows no direction and instead of wagging in a certain way, it helicopters and flails. It is very cute. Ira is a sweet prince. He is literally the perfect dog, never disobeys, and only gets gassy if he’s eaten a hamburger patty.
NICKNAMES:
- Buddy
- Budget
- Budgeteer
- Honey I
- Baby I
- Old Man
- Dinosaur
- Honey Iced Latte
- Grumper
- Curly Fry-ra
- Seal-Pig
- Little Tiny Sweetie
- Li’l Snorter
- Perfect Angel
- Sweet Prince
FAVORITES:
- Butt scratches
- Rachel
- Peanut butter
- Bandanas
- Snorting in faces
- Treats
- Sunshine
- The Vet
- Being a Good Boy
- Making the cutest noises while yawning
- Dancing
- Butt scratches
- His People
- Going “bye-bye”
- Making nests
- Shredding stuff
- Cheese
DISLIKES:
- Anything that moves unexpectedly
- Poppy most of the time
- When ur not scratchin’ his butt
- The Oven
- Waiting to go outside once “wanna go outside?” has been asked
- Flies apparently
- The Broom
- When Rachel leaves the house at any time
- Not being cozy
SKILLS:
- Shreddin’ stuff
- Sitting
- Giving high-fives
- Bowing
- Being SUCH a GOOD BOY
- Having perfect eyebrows
- Making the tail go really fast
- Sunshine-sitting
- Trotting like a little horse
- Being patient
- Making nests
- Obeying
- Dancing
- Finding spots that you’d think would be too small to get comfy in
- Going on walks
- Making new friends
- Being freakin’ perfect
” A DOG WILL TEACH YOU UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. IF YOU HAVE THAT IN YOUR LIFE, THINGS WON’T BE TOO BAD. ” - Robert Wagner
POPPY JANE WATERS
Poppy Jane Waters is a professional sweetie, attention hog, and sass-master. She was adopted in September of 2016 and has made her brother, Ira’s, day-to-day life much more annoying. Poppy eats every bite of food as though it’s both her first and last ever bite of food. She then tries to eat Ira’s food. She loves food more than life itself. When she’s not eating, splooting, going nuckin’ futs while playing, or pretending that you are a mountain and that she is a mountain goat, Poppy spends her time hogging the bed, hogging the attention, hogging the water, and trying to dig a hole to the center of the earth in her paradise of a backyard. Poppy is the sassiest creature to ever walk the planet and is probably best described as a “hot mess”, but she tries very hard to earn your love and loves to be a sweet baby as well. She doesn’t understand that she weighs more than a cat by about 55 pounds, but she insists on curling up in your lap/on top of you whenever possible. Poppy is the sweetest when she’s sleeping, the cutest when she’s yawning, and the best when she’s being still. But goodness, look at that face. How can you not love it? She’s pretty and she knows it.
NICKNAMES:
- Poppet
- Big Poppa
- Poppeteer
- Tiger-Toad
- Splooter
- Popcorn Chicken
- Tiiiiiiiiny
- Sasshole
- Butt-Faced American
- Ya Dingus
- Little Tiny Sweetie
- Showercap
- Floppy
- Plopper
- Floppet
FAVORITES:
- Food
- Any Food
- All Food
- Peanut Butter
- Treats
- Attention
- Giving high fives when necessary
- Giving high fives way more when it’s uncalled for
- Going on walks
- Trying to make a run for it on walks
- Jumping
- Antagonizing Ira
- Sleeping in bed with humans and taking up more room than them
- Destroying shoes and couches
- Sleeping
- Stretching
- Getting up in your business
DISLIKES:
- The Opening/Shaking of a Plastic Bag
- When Ira gets a treat before her
- When Ira gets any form of attention and she’s not included
- Bumps in the night
- Sleeping in her bed
- Not eating
- When you eat in front of her without sharing
- Sitting farther away from any food than Ira
- Shaking/folding of blankets or clothes
When Rachel leaves
SKILLS:
- Eating
- Splooting
- Giving high-fives
- Diggin’ holes.
- Having the softest coat.
- Hugs
- Sitting like her butt is broken
- Making funny noises
- Being sweet
- Making your lap/area/personal space hers too